Finding The Right Therapist
“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
While I tend to be a more reserved, private and very positive person, I don’t ever want someone to think that my life is perfect. It is far from that. I love my life and it definitely has very beautiful, wonderful moments but there are also times of a lot of heartache , trauma and “mess”.
I’m telling you this because I don’t ever want you to feel alone.
Because you’re not.
While our stories and what we are going through may be different, there are people out there who can relate to you, what you are going through and your story, offering understanding and support.
You have hit your breaking point of realizing that you need guidance beyond what you can do for yourself. You can’t help yourself any more than what you already have, you are beyond reading another book to gain insight or doing another google search. You want more for yourself. You want healing. Or maybe you just want to tap into your true, inner self and be the very best version of you.
That right there is your first big step.
You go back and forth on “do I really need it”… but you know in your heart that yes, this is the right thing to do for yourself.
Finding a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist is definitely a feat of its own. It can be a little daunting, very overwhelming and quite possibly what may keep you from actually making it happen.
I know, because I was there.
For months I would pull up ‘counselors in the area’ and scroll through hundreds of names. Feeling overwhelmed staring at the black words on the screen, I hoped that a name would stand out to me. No reviews can be found on any counselor, for reasons I understand. But it makes it harder to know where to even start or who might be the right choice.
I want to share with you how I found my counselor in hopes that maybe it will give you an idea of where to start or a little encouragement on taking that second step.
Firstly, I want you to go into this with the idea of dating. There are a lot of people out there, many of them are great and wonderful, but not all of them are right for you. Not only does each counselor have a different personality, but just like any doctor, they have different strengths and specialties. Just like dating, you might have to see multiple therapists first before finding the right fit or maybe you’ll get lucky and the first person works out. But, please don’t feel discouraged or give up if it takes you awhile to find the right person. Sticking with it will be worth it.
Ask.
If you feel comfortable, ask friends and family if they have ever seen someone. Find out why they liked that person.
Reach out on social media. While it’s easy to get caught up in the negative aspects of social media, there are equally a lot of good and positive aspects to it as well. Local facebook groups are often times a great resource.
See if there are any local resources.
In The Woodlands, Texas area there is a non-profit called Mosaics of Mercy that is a ministry serving as a hub of hope, resources, and education empowering each journey toward mental well-being. Regardless of your reasoning for finding a therapist, you can contact them and they will suggest counselors that fit you and your needs. Bonus, it’s a free service they offer. You can tell them who your insurance is through and vaguely tell them your unique situation. Providing them with this information can help them find that good fit for you.
Have an idea of what you are looking for in a therapist.
Not that I want to put them in a box or be limited to only what I think I want and need but it may help you be more comfortable when opening up to that person. Building trust and a relationship with them is so important.
For instance, I knew I wanted someone who is kind and sweet, who doesn’t rush me into answering things right away but isn’t afraid to push me and make me work hard. Maybe you want someone who is more direct and straight forward or someone who does things at a slower pace. Do you want the typical talking therapy? Or are you wanting someone who is open to the idea of doing therapy while doing something - art, getting outside and going for a walk, etc.
Familiarize yourself with the different types of therapy.
There are so many types available.
You may not know exactly what type of therapy would be best for you, and that’s okay, don’t worry too much about it. Some have different approaches that will work better for some people and certain conditions than others and some can help with a wide range of things. But having an idea of what options there are there never hurts. It may help, as well, to narrow down and shorten your search. Here are a few:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)
Psychodynamic
Behavioral
IPT (Interpersonal Psychotherapy)
PCIT (Parent Child Interaction Therapy)
Marital/Couples Therapy
Humanistic
And that’s just to name a few!
Search their names on different social media platforms.
This part may seem a little shallow, but it worked for me. Once I asked for recommendations on a facebook group and had gotten some names, I then started googling and facebooking the names. I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, but I believe first impressions are important and you can learn about someone through what they share… a picture can tell a story and I read through every single bio.
Go with your gut.
I usually have really good intuition, so the people that I had gotten a good feeling about I wrote down. By that time someone at Mosaics of Mercy had sent me over a list of 4 names or so and sure enough, my top pick from the list I created was one of the names they had given me.
That felt like a confirmation that was who I needed to reach out to first, and hope that they had openings in the near future. From there I called and left a voicemail and then did further corresponding through email. As you are communicating with them through phone and email, pay attention to how you feel. During your sessions pay attention as well to how you feel. You might know immediately if there are any red flags for you or it might take a few sessions for you to know if it’s the right fit for you. But know that it’s 100% okay to ask them for a referral (they want you to be successful and will be more than happy to steer you in the right direction).
I am no expert, I just wanted to share my personal insight with you in hopes that maybe it will help you or someone you know. I also want to remind you that it is normal and wonderful to want to see a therapist.
I am proud of you.
xo,
Alison
