Why I Don’t Do Resolutions & What My Word For 2022 Is Going To Be
“In our perfect ways. In the ways we are beautiful. In the ways we are human. We are here. Happy New Year’s. Let’s make it ours.”
There was a part of me that wanted to say “New Year, New Me” is inaccurate and outdated but I stopped myself because maybe they do work for some people, just not me.
I was trying to think back on the years when I would do New Year’s Resolutions before I started picking a word for the year instead. I couldn’t remember most but I’m sure there was a lot of:
’Work out more.”
”Eat better.”
”Eat out less.”
”Spend less.”
”Be a better person.”
And while there is technically nothing wrong, per se, with those sort of things/resolutions I decided to dissect them further… because that is where the - my - problem lies.
Outwardly there seems no harm in those things, but once you peel back the outer layer and reveal the internal dialect and “why” behind them you find the unwanted, dirty culprit that corrupts the good intentions.
“Work out more.” actually sounds more like “I don’t deserve to be loved unless I am fit and look a certain way.”
“Eat better” —>, “Diet culture tells me to not eat certain things, that they are bad for me. If I enjoy all types of food, in moderation or not, I must be a glutton. There must be something wrong with me., I have no self-control and can’t be trusted.”
”Eat out less” —>, “I am lazy and don’t love myself and my family like I “should” and a proper wife/mother would. I am frivolous with my money.”
You get the idea.
Not only is the underlying intention and message harmful, but we often fall off “track” of those resolutions pretty quickly which can then result in a feeling of, shame, not feeling good enough, lack of discipline, etc.
That’s just one of the many reasons why my word for 2022 is going to be:
Self-compassion
Show myself patience, get curious and try to understand my own (perceived) flaws, and be tolerant and extend grace to my own shortcomings. Give myself tenderness, care, and kindness. and stop beating myself up with that internal dialect.
Also, if you don’t do anything this time of year, please, don’t let the weight of others’ decisions wear at you or make you feel behind or any less than. There have been plenty of years I’ve decided to not do anything at all.
There’s a lot of pressure this time of year.
It’s a new year, a new start, and fresh possibilities.
Which I love.
But guess what?
You are also just allowed to be.
You get to take up space in this world just by being you.
Not needing to change, not needing to become a better version of yourself, not needing to make a resolution, or a goal. You can keep showing up as you are until you are ready, in your own time for something different.
Whatever you do, or don’t do,
You deserve to be here in this world,
Just as you are.
Your worthiness is not tied to what you do, any goal you set, nor any ambition you may have.
&
Whether we like it or not,
Welcome, 2022.
xoxo,
Alison
