Cultivating A Curiosity For The Future
“Enjoy the meanderings, the soul-searching, the loves lost, the time wasted. All of it will add up to a complex and very unique ‘you’. The more you appreciate right now, the more the future will become a fantastic reality. Don’t pressure yourself to be in the future.”
“What do you want to do?”
”What do you want to be when you grow up?”
”What are you going to do (now)?”
Those questions never seem to stop getting asked, regardless of age. Maybe lessen or pause depending on what phase of life one is in. But they never completely halt.
Even now, and even though I know there is (usually) only a sense of curiosity or innocence from the one asking, I can’t help but to loathe those questions when they are directed towards me. A sense of panic, dread, shamefulness, or even a feeling of being “behind” comes over me.
The truth is, I don’t know. Sure I might have some ideas but I ultimately don’t know what I want to do, and it’s something that I often think about on my own without any help from others.
Does one truly ever know though? What they want to do (with their life)?
Maybe a few.
Some, it comes in a moment of clarity.
Others it just happens by chance or from keeping an open mind and constantly giving new things a shot until something sticks or feels right. Life happens for them in a way.
Perhaps some spend a lifetime of wondering what it is they want to do or be, trying to figure out what their calling in life is. It’s an unfinished journey.
Right now I’m giving myself permission to not dwell on figuring it all out and to not have a heaviness weigh on me from not knowing and not having answers.
It’s very okay to not know yet, or even at all.
It’s very okay to not have all the answers.
There is a freedom is knowing the future holds endless possibilities, and an opportunity to explore the unknown, to discover and experience.
Not knowing is a good place to start.
I’ll even go as far as saying it’s the best place to start.
I just have to be brave and open minded enough to do something and simply give things a shot, even if it ends up not quite being the right thing.
For now I will cultivate and hold a curiosity, and have an open mind to what comes my way, releasing any unnecessary pressure. Allowing what is meant to be, simply be.
There will be no dead ends because every new thing I try will broaden my horizon and give me a new wealth of knowledge and experience I would have otherwise missed out on.
Each thing can and will be a teacher, not a failure, even when it doesn’t work out and comes to a end.
While I’m at it, I am going to show up every day, for the mundane or otherwise, because that right now is my purpose as I figure out “what the heck am I going to do now/with my life”.
xo,
Alison
